Being a SeWammba about 20km from his destination

My friend The Writer admonished me sternly that I should try to be a focused writer rather than be a somewhat meandering bloggist in my writing. I took his advice to heart. So here goes.

My friend the Canadian Pep Talk Man admonished me sternly that I should not call myself an uWammba in isiZulu, but rather use the SeSotho word for a self-employed white Afrikaans middle-aged man with a BA degree, SeWammba. I took his advice to heart so here goes.

I am a SeWammba sitting at Dirkie's Diner in Jeffreys Bay some 120okm from my natural habitat, Melville. I came here specifically because it is known as an Afrikaner holiday enclave so I wanted to study my own people in their natural habitat. So far so bad, there are not many of them in evidence and with nobody specific to talk to I will tell you all I know about Jeffreys Bay.

I think I have already done that here above, but I will add that it apparently is a world-renowned surfing paradise and that the ribroll I had at Dirkie's Diner was worth the R40 that I am going to pay for it, but just barely. I am also drinking a reasonably priced (R11) Merlot/Shiraz blend from Swartland Winery.

But I am meandering. Here I am as a SeWammba in Jeffreys Bay. I got here by taking a plane from Joburg to Port Elizabeth. I originally wanted to spend the day in Port Elizabeth because it markets itself as "The Friendly City". I wanted to see just how friendly it was exactly. I studied for my BA degree in the town, but have not been back much.

On the plane I started talking to the poor guy sitting next to me and he told me he was going home to Plettenberg Bay some 200km down the drag called the Garden Route, which is a rich man's hangout.

He offered me a lift to Humansdorp which is some 20km from where I am supposed to be going, Oyster Bay. Then the lady sitting behind me bought me a gin and tonic when the plane couldn't handle my credit card's chip. I did ask them beforehand if they accepted credit cards and they did reply in the affirmative. She bought me a drink and offered me a lift to Jefffreys Bay which is also about 20km from Oyster Bay. I declined the rich guy's offer of Humansdorp and took the lady's Jeffreys Bay one.

But then I ran into my first ex-wife and she said she would take me to St Francis Bay, also about 20km from Oyster Bay.

My first ex is still thinking of me as a uWammba instead of a SeWammba and I can hardly blame her. I only changed my status today.

We had a rather terse and depressing conversation about my status and my prospects and when she had to stop to put in petrol in Jeffreys Bay I got off at Dirkie's Diner. I do not need to be reminded that I am in the shit and that my prospects are ... iffy.

So I think all things considered that was rather to the point. In case my meanderings confused you, here it is again: I am a SeWammba stuck at about 20km from my destination. Did I mention Dirkie's Diner ... yes I did. That's it then.