Fifa bans fun... update

In a statement today the football governing body Fifa officially banned South Africans from having fun during the World Cup ... or making money.

The feudal overlord of the country for the event said the ban was necessary for several reasons which I will list below:

• People normally pay to have fun and since Fifa will not be able to share in that revenue there is no sense in them allowing fun to happen
• People having fun normally talk and laugh ... sometimes too loudly ... and that could bring Fifa into disrepute
• Fifa wants to exercise its droit de cuissage with the country anally and if we seem to enjoy it, it would diminish Fifa's pleasure.
• (Droit de cuissage ... for those who don't know is the feudal lord's 'right' to sleep with the maiden bride ... it seriously pissed off Braveheart as you'll remember)
• If Fifa can't make money out of it there is no sense in making it happen ... so they are considering to also ban sex, the drinking of anything else but the official beer, the wearing of any clothes not sanctioned by them and anything else that people may enjoy without Fifa scoring from it.

The body said that since it now effectively owns the country and all its individual inhabitants and their children, dogs, cats, pigs and chickens ... it can do what it wants when it wants and how it wants ... so brace yourself South Africa ... and bend over ... Fifa is coming.

And if you don't like it ... go and fuck yourself ... as long as you don't have fun doing it.

OK that is slightly exaggerated but it is the impression one gets when one reads Fifa's rules and regulations for hosting the event.

I pity the street hawkers looking forward to the World Cup ... they think they are going to make a killing. The 'wire-and-bead' artists on Melville's street have been working overtime to produce enough stock for the World Cup,... I pity them.

My fear is that they will have their stock confiscated and be put into concentration camps for the duration of the event.

Seriously, Fifa is being very militaristic about everything and that may be one reason why people are still a bit iffy about the World Cup.

The reason for this tirade is that a school contacted a radio station to learn if what they planned for the World Cup would be legal in Fifa's mind.

What they are planning is to have a 'fun' event to promote the WC. The radio station contacted Fifa's legal representatives and put the question to them ... the answer was that the school should download the legal requirements for trading under the Fifa banner and see if they comply.

When the radio presenter points out to the lawyer that they did not want to trade or make money ... just promote the event ... the answer is: "Zey must just zownload zee legal requirementz for trading under zee Fifa name..."

Welcome to Snieke and hallo Inge ... Inge I will blog about your preference for the 'chocolate long and lovely' tomorrow... I first need to clarify a couple of points. LOL