What goes with orange?

I buy myself an orange scarf and orange and white hat. I'm of Dutch descent after all ... even if that was more than 350 years ago. I have a Dutch surname and Amsterdam is my second most favourite city in Europe and today they can count on my full support ... Paul the octopus and his predictions can go and take the proverbial jump in the lake. There's a very accurate parakeet in Singapore that predicted that the Netherlands will win it.

Getting dressed this morning the orange scarf proves to be a bit of a poser. How on earth is one supposed to maintain one's sartorial elegance while wearing a bright orange scarf and a cardboard orange and white hat. The short answer is that one cannot, so I shrug it all off and put on a black blazer and a white shirt, telling myself that World Cup finals don't come around every second week and that I could for one day sacrifice my sartorial elegance for a greater cause.

I turn to the newspapers for inspiration and for once they do inspire me. It would seem that this is 'the best World Cup' ever. I'm happy to hear that because I also enjoyed it tremendously. It would also appear that our criminals took time off for the event. Crime in Joburg apparently dropped by as much as 60% during the event, so all is good.

It is good and bugger the 'babelas' that is beckoning tomorrow and beyond. I shall enjoy today to the full and suffer the consequences when I have to.

Anyway, I suspect that my personal hangover is going to be a Mickey Mouse affair when compared to what the country as a whole is likely to suffer. I'm not talking about just the depression of returning to a 'normal' life after so much excitement.

The criminals would no doubt be eager to recoup the lost 'opportunity costs' caused by their idleness during the event. Then there is also a specific vagueness as to the real costs of staging it, that I find disconcerting. I suspect somebody is going to have to pay and I suspect it may just be me and the rest of South Africa's 5 million (out of a population of about 46 million) taxpayers.

But enough of those negative thoughts. I think 'brand South Africa' benefitted enormously and the much-maligned Joburg more so than most. This is because before the World Cup tourists shunned the place and hurried of to more touristic and 'safer' destinations. The World Cup forced them to come to Joburg ... and enjoy its openness and friendliness.

Most of the foreigners I spoke to confirmed this and vowed to return as soon as they can. So I think I may allow myself a bit of sentimentality at this juncture and thank all the foreigners who came here for their bravery and good spirits that made the event. I salute my fellow South Africans for their hospitality and I thank the criminals for taking a holiday. Well done all ... okay enough of that already.

This afternoon Charles Moore is threatening to take me to the stadium on his bike... "WAITER, BRING ME A TEQUILA!!! AND HURRY!!"

Meanwhile there is a split threatening (if it has not happened already) in my circle of friends. The reason for this is Vince. It seems he is going out of his way lately to irritate me, clearly ignoring the fact that it is an unwritten rule of my circle of friends that if there's irritation to be done I do it to them and not vice versa.

Yesterday, I book a table to watch the Springboks take on the All Blacks. I book for 15 people because I know that the table would fill up even with strangers whom I can then meet.

I oversleep a little bit but still get there in good time for the match ... but without having had my morning tea. It is an equally well-known fact that I should best be avoided completely before my first cup of tea in the mornings and what you should not do before my first morning tea is to irritate me.

On my arrival I see Vince and Jan sitting at an extraordinarily small table for 15 and my temperature rises immediately. Did the restaurant screw up the booking? At the table I see that their is indeed a sign that reads: "CHARLES 15". I am about to enquire politely from the manager how he thought that 15 people could be seated around a four-seater table, when Vince glibly informs me: "I gave away your table."

This bit of news proves a bit too much for my pre-tea persona and I explode: "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!" And that was just my opening gambit. I go on to berate Vince in the most uncomplimentary manner until he ups and leaves.

Raymond the manager assures me that he would set me up another table for 15 in the courtyard whence I immediately decamp ... also pissed off with Jan for having let Vince e give away MY DAMN TABLE!

My tea has hardly arrived when Vince arrive to add insult to injury .... He tells me: "You need help." By this time I have fortunately taken a sip of my tea so I just roll my eyes, speechless at his effrontery before I can muster a 'FUCK OFF!'.

The keenly anticipated rugby match between the two top teams turns out to be a disaster from the Springboks' viewpoint. They get clobbered and my already dark mood turns all black, where it remains for the rest of the day no matter what I drink.

But that was then and this is now and I finally can tell you with what orange goes: The World Cup of course! HUP HOLLAND HUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!