I am devoid of ideas so I look at the newspapers and tell an old joke about a rich black guy in Ventersdorp.

Predictably the inflamed racial tensions in Ventersdorp where Eugene Terre'blanche was murdered make front page news across the board.

The Star's headline is: "'Killer' given hero's send-off". Daily Sun leads with: "COOL IT!" and a subhead that reads: "Cops step in as rival groups scuffle outside murder court!" Well there you have it ... the news.

The Daily Sun is Africa's biggest newspaper with a circulation of 560 000 buyers daily. Multiply that by about 7 and you get the readership. I always maintain that if you want to really know what is going on in South Africa outside the predominantly white urban suburbs, where people drink cafe latte and complain about crime, you have to read Daily Sun.

It tells the stories of the majority of the people of this country and what stories they have! Here are some samples from today's edition.

"Free beef meals" on page 2 is about a cow being struck by a car in a hit-and-run incident in Mabopane, north of Pretoria. No sooner did it hit the ground than it was slaughtered by residents.

"Residents armed with knives, pangas and axes began to cut chunks from the dead animal and took the meat home for an Easter Monday feast!"

The cops and the animal welfare organisation the SPCA tried to stop the carnage but "the people chased them away". Nobody was going to get between them and a piece of fresh meat.

Then the page 3 lead: "ONE-NIGHT STAND DAD!"

"He believes he has more than 25 children ... but he has never seen any of them! because this huge family were all fathered with different women - on one-night stands!

"I will recognise my kids," said the lonely father with the big family. "If they bite the nails of their left hand, they are mine!"

Now Tshepo Senyane (49) wants his kids back. He says old age has caught up with him and he is no longer handsome ... and his picture confirms this.

Then there is a story about a fire "eating" a church and so on.

The letters page gives Terre'blanche short shrift, with most writers being of the opinion that he got what he deserved and the question of racism is hotly debated, but solely from the perspective that it is the exclusive preserve of whites against blacks.

In fact the newspapers depressed me even further so here is my old joke about a black guy in a bar in Ventersdorp:

So this black guy walks into an all-white bar in Ventersdorp and despite the grumbling of the farmers collected there he proceeds to order himself a double Johnny Walker Black. He takes it in one gulp and declares loudly:

"I have R30 million in the bank, I drive a Porsche, Ferrari and a Merc SLK 500 and I only fuck white women!"

The grumbling among the farmers gets distinctly louder but nobody does anything.

The black guy orders another double and repeats his statement with special emphasis on the only fucking white women part.

Once again the grumbling increases in pitch but nobody does anything.

The black guy repeats the performance again and when he realises that he will not get more than grumbling out of the farmers, he pays up and leaves.

As soon as he is out of the door one farmer pipes up with: "Well if I was that rich I would also only fuck white women."

Cheers for today.